There’s no escaping it. If you’ve taken a dip in the dating pool at any point in your life then without question I’m sure you have now added an additional rule to the swimmer’s safety sign; “CAUTION: Swimming may attract toxic swim partners!”

We’ve all had one. The bad date that you’d rather just forget. The co-worker you thought *might* just be a normal person outside of the office. Even the ex-lover who turned out to be something completely different than what your poor misguided self needed. But it takes more than just bad dates and broken hearts to classify someone as toxic. After all, toxins are dangerous little bastards that leave illness and damage and despair right? Toxins spread from their original victim and continue to damage anything else it touches.

I’m referring to the ones who even years down the road require special handling to avoid the damages of. Protective gear, alternate escape routes, and even emergency procedure instructions. These are the lovers who left a scar, or the stalkers who make you jump at shadows or the ex’s that jaded your heart. I have some of those. It’s interesting and quite humbling to see how Master and I handle these. Today my most toxic one came up in conversation and I had a hard time explaining my protective gear to my Master. Avoidance.

It’s really that simple. There is no event, gathering, purpose or reason that is good enough or important enough to expose myself to the opportunity of running into the toxic ex and then having to resort to the emergency procedures manual and disaster recovery. Not Worth It. Not worth the chaos, stress, pain, or loss associated with the toxic burn.

Master’s concern is that I shouldn’t have to shelter myself from other friends or fun times but how fun can something be if I’m watching over my shoulder with one eye while the other eye is focused on the fire escape? I think He also wants to be sure that I am not hiding out or backing down from something that I would normally want to do as a sign of submission rather than by my own choice. But my choice IS my submission… and the entire relationship that surrounds it. We are equal partners in this relationship when it comes to keeping the toxins out. There is no submission to that… only protectiveness, commitment, and common sense.

At the end of the day I doubt the toxins ever completely disappear, and I’m sure that the scars only fade with time, but the lessons learned last forever.