She’ll have a smile like Margenes and a sigh like Theresa. Her eyes will see through me and all of me at the same time. Her body will be delicious as she fucks to Clutch. She’ll buzz like the bee but her stinger’s all gone. How am i going to find her?

Since privacy seems to be the topic of the month here, I’ve got another privacy issue I’d like to talk about.

Before moving to our new rural home, we had the luxury of letting kids go across town to stay the night, the weekend, and even a few extended vacations with other relatives and friends on a frequent basis, so we often had the house to ourselves. Now all the places our children go are within shouting distance, and the front door of the house is like a constant family gathering. The few moments we truly have privacy in the house are rare, and rushed. Which brings us to the problem we’re at tonight:

Add to the new environment, the new people. People here aren’t as aware of the kind of relationship we have. They’ve never seen or experienced anything like it. There are assumptions and stereotypes. There’s a whole lot of head spinning and “does she know” questions and general “new territory” anxieties that women here would have that weren’t such an issue in our former city. It’s like starting all over again, but with the sexually Amish perhaps.

It’s been a LONG time since either Master or myself considered a girlfriend. Almost as long as we’ve considered a fling. Now we are i a rural community where the people we meet would be a LOT more…. cautious.. about stepping into a relationship with either of us, or even both of us. If we were just swingers, flying from one girl to the next for fun, it wouldn’t be an issue… but we’re not. There are a lot of questions about how we can build a relationship with a thousand eyes watching I’m so stuck in my “big city mentality” that I can’t figure out the answers. If anyone reads this and can answer even one, please leave the answer in the comments below.

1) Dating in a plural relationship (to us) isn’t too much different than in a monogamous one… there’s meeting, first dates, second, and so on… at some point you learn enough about the person to decide whether you want to really pursue the relationship. But when it’s a small town and people really know every step you take, how do you have that beginning period without the town firing up on you and that creating a roadblock to the potential girlfriend’s comfort level?

2) Let’s assume all is going well and you’re ready to spend more… intimate.. time together. In the past, because we often had the house to ourselves, and no relatives with a birds-eye view of the comings and goings of our house, a date could come over, stay the night, and no one would be the wiser. I could go out and leave Master the house for an evening or more and nobody would assume a thing. Again, the relationship could build in a natural manner without distractions. Now we have no privacy in that manner. If either or both of us was ready to have a girl stay the night, there seems to be no way to do this discreetly.

3) Things are going great.. we’ve managed to sneak a few late-night drinking sessions in, and perhaps even had Master slip out of the bedroom to “sleep” on the couch before dawn.. but what then? At what point do we just fess up that we’re in a plural relationship?

4) We are used to the reactions of family… our family is pretty aware of (although they still don’t understand it really) the way we are. But what about the girl who is glowing after a fantastic date, getting flowers on a special day, or somehow just showing signs that they are happily dating someone, but hesitates to explain it because of the… interesting nature of the situation? In the city, a girl could show up with Him, introduce Him to family, and pull it off like a “normal” relationship, but out here everybody knows Him, and knows about me, and there’s no way to play that one coy.

5) What if it’s a relationship that just one of us is in? I don’t always date the girls He does. It’s nothing against the girls at all as He has VERY good taste and judgement when it comes to women… I just am not always ready and/or interested in dating at the same time He is. How do I give Him that space to build a relationship? When we had a weekend without kids I could go out with my friends and stay out all night or send him off to the girlfriends house.. we could have separate plans without anybody judging us. Now, because the kids are always here, one of us has to be here with them. If He were to date anyone who has their own kids, there would never be any privacy.

I guess when we were living in the city, it was a given that there was always a place to go or a way to do things where you wouldn’t have to worry about stepping on toes, or causing insecurities, or you could just date openly and not worry about discretion. If things didn’t go so well, you probably would never run into the girl again. Now it’s almost like we have to pre-screen a girl, give out disclaimers, get them to agree to the lifestyle and commit them to a relationship before we know if they like lemon in their iced tea.

i have come to the unexpected realization that moving to our new home has severely hampered my ability to spend time naked. You would think I would have taken that simple freedom into consideration, yet somehow it never occurred to me that privacy would be all but eliminated from my home life. I miss nudity!