i have come to the unexpected realization that moving to our new home has severely hampered my ability to spend time naked. You would think I would have taken that simple freedom into consideration, yet somehow it never occurred to me that privacy would be all but eliminated from my home life. I miss nudity!

The other night in a drunken frenzy of lust and a full lack of inhibition I begged… and I got EXACTLY what I begged for. Now as I forgetfully graze across the mark I get shivers. I missed Him. I forgot not how good the pain felt, but rather how good HE feels when He just lets go. Since that night I feel like a constant arc of electricity just keeps bouncing back and forth between us… I love that spark!

Day in, Day out… Wake up too early. Make coffee. Send the kids off to school. Get caught up on the days’ news. Work a little. Poke at my online friends. Work some more. Wander the property. Talk about work. Nap if we’re lucky. Make decisions. Welcome the kids. Help with homework. Make dinner. Have dinner. Clean up and settle in for the night. Socialize with family/neighbors. Put off going to bed in search of something to do. Finally pass out either on the couch, or in bed, too sleepy from boredom.

The other day Master was explaining to me how a couple we know was having issues that started with her getting too lost in the roles of Mother and house manager and wife to fulfill the roles of lover and best friend. I understand that. I feel that. I want to ravage him on a daily basis. I want to spend hours cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. I want to take an afternoon drive to go nowhere and look at nothing just to be alone with him. I want to feel sexy. I want him to know how much he still attracts me every day. I want him to know that he is the first and last thing I think about every day. But instead I am falling into a routine of chasing boredom out of the shadows with projects, and answering to children every 30 seconds, and having a thousand tasks that seem so important in the moment but distract from what is in my heart.

This has nothing to do with kinky sex, extra arms and legs, paddles and punishment, or anything of a BDSM nature… I really don’t know what my point is. I just don’t want to disappear inside all our daily duties. I want to find a balance between being responsible AND being in love.