Last weekend Master just happened to snap this picture while we were having a lazy afternoon before chaos returned. I thought it was both cute and pet-blog worthy Happy Half-Nekkid-Thursday!

You’re not a “real Dom” unless…

You pull hair and call names during sex

You wield the paddle from hell along with any other torture device you can think of

You control your sub’s every move

You prove your ownership on a daily basis

You use humiliation and pain to debase your sub until they no longer think of themselves and only care to please you

You’re not a “real sub” unless…

You set all thoughts of your own wants and needs aside for your Dom

You can take any punishment without complaint or tears no matter how painful or humilating it is

You accept that you are somehow less of a whole person because you only exist to serve your Dom’s needs

You leave all decisions including fidelity, pain, and basic human rights to your Dom to the point of real self-damage

In case the sarcasm didn’t spill all over your screen in a gooey mess, I should clarify that I do NOT believe a single “rule” listed here. They are a poor joke and a sad example of the misconceptions that people have about this lifestyle. What’s terribly disheartening though is that the people who have demonstrated these attitudes towards Dominance and submission are NOT those who are against it. They are people who claim they want to be a part of this lifestyle themselves! To those poorly misguided souls, I wish them the best of luck and a little soul-searching to find out where they got so far off the self worth and human kindness track.

At the end of the day there are no set “rules”. Every relationship, whether considered alternative or vanilla or somewhere in between, is as individual as the people in them. I believe that some people just have a natural propensity to take on these roles. But just like any other niche interest there are those who understand, or are truly wanting to understand, and then there are those who simply see an opportunity to take advantage of this human dynamic to meet their own selfish desires. Rather than a Sadist/masochist dynamic they find themselves in more of an Opportunist/narcissist situation. The opportunist taking advantage of the “license” to be uninhibitedly forceful and dehumanizing. The narcissist enjoying the constant attention no matter how negative and self-damaging that attention may be.

For those of us who naturally fall into the Dominant and submissive roles in a healthy manner, and find ourselves lucky enough to find our counterpart, it becomes easy to spot those who are in it for misguided reasons. Often our advice, coaching, or concerns are seen as elitism or disapproval but this is completely unintentional. Like any happy couple, we like to see our friends in relationships that are healthy, enriching and rewarding.

A lioness in the office and a kitten at home, finding the balance between boss and subordinate can be tricky.

For those who don’t know, I’ve been working from home for about 6 months now as I painstakingly build a business out of nothing. During this time I’ve struggled plenty with letting go of my financial independence. Master really has fulfilled the role of both protector and provider (and although I’m “fixed” we sure do try to procreate a lot!). I believe that this, above all other external factors, has helped to set me in my role of sub. I AM a kept pet. While I learn the administrative side of my business and work to find a client base, and adjust to working alone, I am completely dependent on Him for my basic needs for survival. Food, shelter, and companionship. He has become my world.

I’ll admit that I have been terrified. I have felt like dead weight on our finances. I have felt like the little bit of stress we do go through is all on my shoulders. Master makes good money… damn good money. So when we’re having to get creative to keep the vehicles gassed up and the bank account out of the red it’s a harsh reminder that I am the reason we are in that position.

At the same time, I dare say that being home with the kids, and really opening up to my pet nature has been undoubtedly worth every penny. I’ve learned more about what makes my Master tick and I’ve had SO much time to devote to my family and my home that it’s overwhelming. I have had the comfort and freedom to find out more about what makes ME happy as well, which was completely unexpected. I have also had the luxury of building a STRONG professional name and image for myself to the point that big names are taking notice. Now we’re at the turning point where I am starting to bring in some checks and the next step is to get busy enough that Master can join me on our own and out of the corporate world.

So that brings us to the interesting social experiment we had over the weekend. Master’s acquaintance needed services in my line of work and asked for a meeting with us both so we could be introduced and talk shop. It was a great meeting overall but I kept catching myself taking the back seat and letting Him dominate the conversation. This is understandable since He was the one with the working relationship with this acquaintance, but at the same time I was supposed to be selling my own skills and the work I would do for them so I felt I didn’t really step up to the confidence plate enough there. Just another way that the Working Dom/house-maker sub lines got blurry. I’m sure after I get a few more meet n greets under my belt the confidence will come.

At the end of the day I got the client and I’m extremely excited about the project. On a funny side-note, I caught the client smiling when they noticed me serving Master’s drink and deferring to Him for a few points in the conversation.