Lately I’ve seen a lot of focus from mainstream media (television, news and magazines) on the polyamorous lifestyle so I figured I’d share my thoughts on the matter:

The 60’s opened up free love, becoming comfortable with sex, and even casual/recreational sex.
The 70’s shifted towards swinging and geared us up for the pill-popping, coke snorting 80’s
The 90’s were all about homosexuality becoming publicly acknowledged even if it wasn’t accepted.
At the turn of the century the lines got blurry and bisexuality was all the craze.
I believe from a mainstream perspective, polyamory will be the next bisexuality. After that, who knows? They’re all just stages in the sexual evolution of human-kind.

Between birthdays, back-to-school bustle, and the beauty of training a new puppy, this little pet is exhausted!

I’ve been sick for the last couple days and I hate it. I end up feeling so useless and off-balance and very un-doux-like when I have to turn the focus on myself in order to get better. But Master is wonderful about it. He spent a little extra time with me, and even worked from home for a day which helped me more than I can explain.

I do hate when the Doux side of me falls to the background in the face of everyday life, but at the same time I am so extremely content it feels like a dream. I find myself cleaning the house and cooking more difficult or labor-intensive meals… Nesting I guess you could say. I never expected that being this domesticated would suit me so well, but here I am smiling when the puppy makes a mistake, and playing with my daughter’s hair in the morning, and pampering my Master every chance I get. It’s the busy times like this that make me glad the groundwork for my pet life has already been laid.

Coming up we have some very big projects in the works that will allow Master more time at home, and more financial freedom so that we can travel and relax a bit. I can’t wait! Till then, I’ll take the few escapes I can and enjoy what we already have.

There’s no escaping it. If you’ve taken a dip in the dating pool at any point in your life then without question I’m sure you have now added an additional rule to the swimmer’s safety sign; “CAUTION: Swimming may attract toxic swim partners!”

We’ve all had one. The bad date that you’d rather just forget. The co-worker you thought *might* just be a normal person outside of the office. Even the ex-lover who turned out to be something completely different than what your poor misguided self needed. But it takes more than just bad dates and broken hearts to classify someone as toxic. After all, toxins are dangerous little bastards that leave illness and damage and despair right? Toxins spread from their original victim and continue to damage anything else it touches.

I’m referring to the ones who even years down the road require special handling to avoid the damages of. Protective gear, alternate escape routes, and even emergency procedure instructions. These are the lovers who left a scar, or the stalkers who make you jump at shadows or the ex’s that jaded your heart. I have some of those. It’s interesting and quite humbling to see how Master and I handle these. Today my most toxic one came up in conversation and I had a hard time explaining my protective gear to my Master. Avoidance.

It’s really that simple. There is no event, gathering, purpose or reason that is good enough or important enough to expose myself to the opportunity of running into the toxic ex and then having to resort to the emergency procedures manual and disaster recovery. Not Worth It. Not worth the chaos, stress, pain, or loss associated with the toxic burn.

Master’s concern is that I shouldn’t have to shelter myself from other friends or fun times but how fun can something be if I’m watching over my shoulder with one eye while the other eye is focused on the fire escape? I think He also wants to be sure that I am not hiding out or backing down from something that I would normally want to do as a sign of submission rather than by my own choice. But my choice IS my submission… and the entire relationship that surrounds it. We are equal partners in this relationship when it comes to keeping the toxins out. There is no submission to that… only protectiveness, commitment, and common sense.

At the end of the day I doubt the toxins ever completely disappear, and I’m sure that the scars only fade with time, but the lessons learned last forever.