When no moment is truly private, where does your formerly private life go?
Today I had a moment of frustration in which I actually snuck off to scream my lungs out into a pillow. It hurt and it felt good all at the same time, but more than that, it forced me to figure out why I was so frustrated.
Privacy and freedom.
Since moving to this very rural town practically on top of family, Master and I have absolutely no privacy. Between kids always around, certain features of the house and how sound carries through, and of course the very nearby relatives, we are lucky to get 10 waking minutes of privacy. At night we are exhausted and what little we do has to be kept as quiet as possible. Now if we were a vanilla-playing, missionary-lovin couple that wouldn’t be a big deal. But the last week or so I’ve been having huge cravings for pain, and that’s hard to keep quiet. Hell, last night I took Master’s cock in my ass like a champ and couldn’t even moan out loud while I enjoyed it.
And then there’s freedom. Master has an activity he goes to 3 times a week, and already knows a lot of people in this town. The kids are now in school and making friends. And I really don’t know what my outlet is. Tonight I was supposed to go out, and I had been looking forward to it for a while. The plans weren’t anything special or fantastic, but it was a chance to stretch out away from kids and in-laws, and perhaps even hunt a bit given my current pet-frenzy. But as fate may have it, the plans went to hell, backup plans really don’t exist when you live this far from everything interesting, and I am now at home blogging instead.
So that brings us to the screaming. I’m hungry for playtime. I’m feeling pent up and restricted. I miss making noise, and making waves. And today I was SOOOOO ready to get loud… so in keeping with my newfound limits, I snuck off to the bedroom in a rare moment when everyone else was outside. I shoved my face far into the pillows and screamed and screamed and screamed. Afterwards, and even now, I felt a thousand times more calm and relieved. And tomorrow will be a fresh new day…
