My world is about to flip upside down and I can’t help but be a little nervous. Master and I are moving… we’re moving out of state and into a life that is 100% ours, built from the ground up. But I am moving away from the only home I have ever really known. The place where I grew up and created a million memories.

That’s the part that I am most consumed with… all my memories are here. All my memories of childhood friends and first jobs, and concerts and nights spent in the outskirts of town (which are now nowhere to be found since developments have taken up all the open land). I’m leaving behind the only history I have. Almost 30 years of it.

At the same time I am also leaving behind all of the bad memories. The loss of my own innocence, then my first child. I am leaving behind memories of being an outcast in school, and an even bigger one in my own family. I am leaving behind the people who told me what I would never be, and certainly what they thought I was. Certainly enough bad memories to challenge the good ones.

So, next weekend as I drive down the highway staring at that center stripe and trying to stay awake, I know that the balance of good and bad that I am leaving behind mean that I’m at my life’s turning point. Dead even. Squared away with Karma. And 1800 miles from the place I was born and raised, I will begin building a real home, and a new scorecard. And by my side, holding my hand will be Master. The only foundation strong enough in this world that I am willing to build that home on.

I watched a movie last night (Grey Matters to be specific) and for some reason that silly pop-lez movie made me realize that I miss having a girlfriend… BAD. There’s not a lot I can do about that right now, so it’s just a sad little realization… but maybe recognizing that means I’m finally over her? That I am ready to accept what comes into my life again? I guess as we go forward if it’s meant to happen again then it will.

In the meantime, wish us luck as Master and I are about a month away from moving halfway across the country to a whole new life that’s just ours, built from the ground up!

… there are days when I am so hungry for cock that it hurts. That my pussy is throbbing, and I find myself spending far too much time and energy tracing my tongue along anything that it touches, like the tip of  a pen or a spoon for my yogurt. I can’t think at all and when I do it’s only to wonder if this is what recovering or withdrawing drug addicts go through? On those days, even after I have enjoyed tasting and feeding from my Master, I am still so incredibly hungry that I worry about what is wrong with me. I look at ads on craigslist just to see what kind of cock is out there hunting for any wet hole that will take them. I have no interest in anything more than looking, but the looking just makes me more hungry. It’s a blessing and a curse that it makes me only more hungry for Master because it would seem the only cocks that are out hunting are the small or deformed. But what do I do when I feel this way? I take what Master offers. I don’t want to push too hard because He already knows me well enough to see when I am hungry and it is His choice shether to feed that craving. I could ask for a blue pill and go to town, but then I feel selfish and spoiled. I could wait to see what he offers, but then I get lost in my hunger… what do I do?